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Marco L. Schmidt
Marco L. Schmidt is a German-speaking Canadian goose that hangs around Alabama all year round. In his spare time, he squaks at other geese, studies things like Biblical Greek and astrophysics, and writes "ground-breaking" novels like The Good Mr. Thomas''. ''He is a hardcore believer of the Oxford comma. Nobody actually knows the ethnic makeup of Marco L. Schmidt. Biography Marco L. Schmidt is actually pretty boring. He has a younger sister named Gracie and an older brother named Will. His mother is an immigrant from Taiwan and his father is from a little Southern town called Russellville. Almost all of his Chinese relatives are rich and/or famous, and he is known as the "American Doll" to his relatives, even though he's just a goose. In fact, if the Commies hadn't won the war in China, Marco would actually be considered royalty. How cool is that? Marco attends a weird art school that does really weird stuff all the time. There's not much to say about Marco. He's just a goose; what do you want from him? Things Chris Likes To Do Marco likes honking and flying around in circles over unsuspecting prey. He's also programmer-in-training, but it's hard to type when you don't have fingers. He's pretty good at learning languages, too, and currently he's pretty good at English and German. He's taking French classes and learning Biblical and Modern Greek independently, and plans on learning more languages in the future. He's also kinda learning Italian in his free time. Biblical Greek is his stress-out language. He learns it whenever he's swamped and needs to chill out for a while. Marco also enjoys poetry, science, and history; especially 20th century history. He really likes psychology and sociology, and once he bought a psychology textbook for $1.50. He is very proud of his purchase. He's fascinated by quantum mechanics and genetic engineering, and might become a genetic engineer one day. However, this is a very bad idea. Marco also wants to go into the military some day. But he doesn't think that that will be a very good idea, since he is a goose that will get no respect from his peers. It is also because he is a woman. However, that will not stop him from studying military history and strategy because he is a strong independent black potato who don't need no man. Marco also likes baking for his friends and scuttling about. He also plays the viola, which is kind of like a violin but not. He is currently third chair of the Alabama Youth Symphony. That's pretty cool. He also likes scribbling in his journal and has a bad habit of talking in German when he's stressed out or panicked. It could be worse, though. He could start talking in Latin when he's tired. One time, Marco woke up after a short nap and he was babbling in French for ten minutes. That was pretty bad. This was an actual thing that happened. Many people continue to insist that Marco's a child prodigy or something. They also insist that he is a good scribbler and writer. He doesn't get it. He just likes scribbling. Things Marco Does Not Like To Do Marco does not like being yelled at by feminists. He does not like being yelled at, period. He also doesn't like touching raw meat, eggs, or breathing when he's getting something out of the fridge. People do not appreciate Marco L. Schmidt, but he doesn't mind.